I’m riding on the sheer energy of all ye undercover Grammar Police. Your overwhelming response (Though it hasn’t beat out strapless G-strings, people still discovering Lil Wayne knocked up an Asian woman, or why I don’t like Bikram yoga.) leads me to believe there is still hope! Maybe our progeny will know what a “gerrund” is, after all! Be not discouraged, comrades. Some of us do know that they’re unaware of their ignorance in that there department of general literacy.

Last week, upon reading one too many misspelled versions of “definitely” from grown-ass people who were born and raised in the United States, I got frustrated and – oops – I tweeted. AND IN CAPS:

Fellow Fremont native Woozy Life retweeted, and then A Pretty Sunday followed up. I was ever pleased that any one of my Twitter friends might want to uphold a certain standard in everyday communication. I was nearly elated when Pretty Sunday proposed “Definitely No A Awareness Day!” How fantastic! I can see the bumper stickers now.

So while I am too tapped out from paying off medical bills to invest in buttons or bunting, and though I fear that having an “A” before “Awareness” in the original title would lead some inattentive souls to believe that it should be “a awareness” in other contexts, I do believe that today should be Definitely No A Day. Never “definately.” Not “definantly,” either. (How would you even spell “definitively” in that case? “Definantively?” I just popped a brain muscle trying to figure that out.)

Today shall be Definitely No A Day.

And so shall every day onward and so forth!