Away messages alluding vaguely to ultrasounds usually spark rumors of women become baby mamas, so I really should have thought twice before running off this morning to Alta Bates. I was frazzled, though. All evidence points to My Little Gourd being benign, except for that one case in family history where my aunt had to go through chemo twice for her bout with breast cancer.

I spent the second half of the day working from home (after my first fried chicken sandwich from Bake Sale Betty’s – Love the slaw.), and I was still a bit frazzled because I didn’t get the confirmation I wanted. In short, Hong Kong is going to be the meat in an Alta Bates/Hong Kong sandwich. The day after I get back, I’ve scheduled a biopsy. Exciting.

I really just wanted to walk out with a paper in my hand that said “negative” or “benign” or “confirmation.” That’s obviously not how the procedure goes, though, and the best thing I can do for myself right now is as the nurses said, “Don’t think about this during your trip! Just go and have fun!”

My Little Gourd is actually more like a little peapod of triplets. It measures to about three centimeters filled solid, meaning it’s not just a cyst. There’s a possible “fill area,” whatever that means, but it’s most likely just a fibrodonema, a benign tumor.

On the real, though, ladies, if you ever need to get your boobs checked, go to the Alta Bates Summit Medical Center. The Carol Ann Read Breast Health Center is a straight-up spa. I was not expecting iridescent tiles in a circular foyer with sounds of a babbling creek pumping through the speakers.

And let’s see: This isn’t the worst thing to happen to me. I just dislike leaving things in limbo.