Heavy really hit it home with the fashion list, in my opinion. I could probably add onto it (mini skirts with winter boots, for instance), but to do so would be like scratching at an open wound. Instead, I’ve responded to their picks below.

The Top 10 Worst Fashion Trends

10. Tracksuits – Did Rini spill the beans that I Facebooked a guy I used to date and found out his new girlfriend is a frosty Republican cheerleader? What a coincidence. I’m not against shiny, reflective eyelids or their socially/economically conservative leanings, I’m just saying you couldn’t be any more opposite from what I am. So I guess in a sense he neither traded up nor down after me…But I digress. Tracksuits. Tracksuits as non-athletic items. Dammit, Juicy Couture, you killed fashion.

J.Lo was a prominent figure in the velour tracksuit movement, and even though I love the former Fly Girl and all her gown choices, I will never be able to forgive her this misstep.

9. Words On Your Ass – …Unless you’re the smart cookie capitalizing on my proposed Where the Wild Things Are casual apparel collaboration. I still say Spike Jonze and Opening Ceremony missed out when they shoulda done this:

8. Dressing Little Girls Like Whores – I am in total fear of what my future daughters might be seeing on the racks when they get to the I Can Dress Myself age.

7. Uggs – STOPPIT.

6. Skinny Jeans – I’m cool with skinny jeans on skinny people. Just like you should know your role, you should also know your body. I understand some people’s “don’t care” attitude toward what other people think about their fashion choices, but as a strong advocate of the Comfort Above All Else commandment, I think violators should know that their obvious non-skinny jean body just screams “My flesh is getting permanently imprinted by all these grommets and stitches,” and just say no when it comes to walking out the door in that getup.

5. Tramp Stamps – Funny how so many college girls don’t realize what a mistake these are. Piercings over ho-ey tattoos, always.

4. Low-Rise Jeans – Guilty as charged. I have a couple of pairs of these. As a result, I have invested in a significant portion of longer shirts.

3. Crocs – STOPPIT.

2. Trucker Hats – This egregious blip on everyday style has become largely negligible to me. Partially because my issues were mostly with a specific brand, Von Dutch, but mostly because no one wears trucker hats anymore. (The good thing about trends is that it is their fate to one day become obsolete.)

1. Christian Audigier – Seriously, WTF? This stuff is so ugly and White trash I can’t even put my distaste into words. I’m about to break a personal vow to never type this name into my blog, but why would anyone ever want to dress like Jon Gosselin? Why?

And while I’m at it, a list of stores I pretty much never shop at!

Not that I feel I should even have to make this disclaimer, but I don’t care if you wear these labels.

• Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, Rugby, and all subsequent variations – I don’t even have time to get into this one. I think people who hate themselves for their lack of style creativity shop regularly at A&F. Or Asian people who are in denial.
• American Apparel – I’m jaded enough that their advertising only causes my eyes to roll, but I’ve decided that anything American Apparel can do, Alternative Apparel can do better (sustainably).
• Coach – Blasphemy in my circle of friends, I know, but I think I’ve only liked one line of bags from them. Ever.
• Gap et al. – I do own a couple of basics from each one of the three, but overall, the quality rarely astounds me, and I can find all their stuff for better value elsewhere.
• Juicy Couture – Truthfully, I do own one camouflage Juicy Couture vest. (I know! Ick!) I immediately tossed out the fur attachment, but for reasons unknown I just can’t part from the magenta liner. It’s silly. It’s camo, so it’s pretty much ugly. There’s a strange cognitive dissonance going with me and my attachment to this piece. But in all other matters Juicy Couture, Hell to the Naw.
• Claire’s – Claire’s! Claire’s. Why. It took me so long to realize it wasn’t my lack of attention or cleaning that was making the metals rusty, gemstones dull. The jewelry just isn’t worth the beans. Like when you buy potted plants at the drug store. That shit ain’t gonna last.