Even though you can find hipsters, hippies, and yuppies all in San Francisco, it’s always interesting observing “somethings” in different areas. These stories involve tightly shirted hipster men.

No, I will not join your Hipster Asshole Brigade.

Hipster Scene: Poofy and I are at a 24-hour McDonald’s at 2:30 in the morning. We are drunk and hungry. I never go to sleep drunk. I need to get something in my system. There is lots of yelling going on that is causing even more bewilderment.

Hipster in Question: Tight orange rugby shirt with white screen printing. Thick glasses. Puny White boy.

Things the Hipster Says.
To cashiers: “Let me speak to your manager!”
To Mexican manager’s arrival onto scene: “No! English-speaking!”
To Manager: “Give me your customer service number. And your store number! What is your store number?”

Wrench in Hipster’s Plan: Manager announces to customers that nothing but chicken nuggets are available, asks security guard to lock doors.

Things the Hipster Says, Part II.
To bewildered customers in line: “You all have the right to order! They cannot keep you from ordering what you want. This is a 24-hour establishment!”
To Poofy and I as we walk out the restaurant (20-piece chicken nuggets in hand): “Ladies, you have the right to eat here! Do not feel like you have to leave. Please, sit down!”

Hipsterclusion: Even hipsters can be douchebags! (Second douchebag reference of the day. Go me!)

Hipsters can’t dance.

Hipster Scene: Clubbing at Lulu’s Robot Rock party at Le Royale.

Hipsters in Question: New York hipsters who like “beats.”

Things a “Dancing” Hipster Says: To Mayka in regards to MGMT’s “Kids” – “I love this song!”

How a “Dancing” Hipster Dances: Arhythmic jerky movements resembling seizures.

How You Can Spot Hip-Hoppers at a Hipster Scene.
Hip-Hoppers: I’m sorry, but where are you from?
Mayka: California.
Hip-Hoppers: Damn! Cause I been watchin’ you, an’ I’m like, “Damn, she dance like she from Philly!”

How You Can Embarrass Yourself with a Hipster Socialite Photographer.
Mayka: Are you Nicky Digital?
Nicky Digital: Yes.
Mayka: Oh, cool! I worked at a company where I did your online marketing campaign.
Nicky Digital: Neat, which one?
Mayka: [Redacted] It was a really strange fit, but we still did it. This is still from when [Redacted Marketing Group] was still handling your account. Like, before they started sucking.
Nicky Digital: O-oh. Okay.
Mayka: Yeah, and I saw you! And since I knew all your stuff from the campaign, I was like, “Oh my gosh, that’s actually Nicky Digital!”
Nicky Digital: Yeah. Nice job.
Mayka: Thanks! Drunken exit.

Hipsterclusion: Even I need to not talk at certain points in the night. At least I did not request a photo.