I saw Harry Potter’s penis.
Editor’s Note: Largely written on Friday, a couple of days ago.
In case you haven’t been keeping up, the only full-price, advance purchase tickets Poofy and I secured for this trip were for Equus. AKA: Harry Potter Gets Naked. Being both Harry Potter fans and Broadway fans, I laugh when I think about how we were undecided about seeing the play. I couldn’t think of any reasons why we shouldn’t see the play, and that’s how we made our commitment to Telecharge.
So anyway, we saw Harry Potter’s penis last night, and it was very good. The play, I mean, not his penis. There’s one scene in the first act that I really think Peter Shaffer really could have done away with or showed – not told – in some other way, but otherwise, I really liked the intensity of it, and the pensiveness of it all. I thought the modern stage design was really cool, and I especially loved how the costume designer turned fabulous men dancers into horses. They wore these awesome hoof-like metal structures, and though you wouldn’t think it possible or safe, they even danced and did all kindsa crazy karate kick type stuff while they wore them.
Also cool about the play is seeing Harry Potter act alongside Uncle Vernon. (Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths [Whose belly is HUGE, BTW.], respectively.) As for Daniel Radcliffe’s acting, I’m not sure if he was actually great for the role. Great for the press and for the future of Broadway, maybe, but maybe not great as a 17-year old with a history of psychological “issues.” In real life, Radcliffe’s trying to distance himself from his relatively wholesome role as Harry Potter. This is the only explanation I can think of for why he grew such an uninteresting scruffy beard. It doesn’t add much or detract much from his image, but it does certainly decrease the believability of him playing a 17-year old. He loses some of the easily swayed innocence that I think is very integral to his character in looking like a 20-year old. But what do I know? I just went so I could say “I saw Harry Potter’s penis.” (Not entirely true. Equus was honestly my favorite show of the trip.)
I’m pissed at Radcliffe now, though. Poofy and I are devoted meet-and-greeters. It requires a naive tenacity that is really underappreciated. We exercise a buddy system where Poofy Fairy holds our signable gear and I snap photos of the stars. After Equus, we waited patiently for Radcliffe and company, and when Radcliffe came out, he signed Poofy’s Playbill. She held up her poster (which cost $20 while the Playbill is complimentary), and he denied her. “I can only sign one per person,” he said. This meant that he would not sign the Playbill of the girl who paid full price for on-stage seats and couldn’t hold the Playbill herself because she was busy taking pics of his ruffian face. Horseshit! (Hah.)
Daniel Radcliffe didn’t sign my Playbill. Fucker!
Though Poofy and I admit we’re nearing the end of our love affair with musicals (only due to interest and limited selection), I think I really do like dramas. If the script is good and it’s a thoughtful play, I can really get into it. So far with the small number of comedies I’ve seen, I am not drawn to the over-the-topness of what is often written into Broadway theatre. Thoughtful dramas, though, those I can take. And hopefully the less slapstick humor in Speed-the-Plow, which I hope to catch right before my flight tomorrow.
Back to Equus. You’ve heard about bestiality. You’ve maybe heard about murder. You’ve definitely heard about Harry Potter’s balls. So what’s the play about? That and thoughts on Daniel Radcliffe’s nude body after the cut.
Update: Radcliffe on being naked, on Inside the Actors’ Studio.
Obvious spoiler alert as I go into a synopsis of Alan Strang: He’s 17 and has a both religious and sexual obsession with horses. Once a month, he takes horses out into the forest and basically rides them until he reaches orgasm. He does not have intercourse with the horse. (Of course!) One night he fails to lose his virginity to a girl who convinces him to have sex with her in the barn. Though she shuts the door, he feels the horses’ eyes on him. Though he tries to perform for her, he keeps thinking of Equus (the god in all horses – equine, Jesus, get it?) and cannot get it up. He frightens the girl away and blinds all the horses. Then he’s taken to court through which he meets Hesther Salomon (Kate Mulgrew of Star Trek) and the psychologist Martin Dysart (Richard Griffiths of Harry Potter!). And so the story goes.
Obvious disappointment as I supply no photos of Daniel Radcliffe’s twig or berries: Okay, kids, you can’t judge a man while he’s flaccid. It starts out a nubbin but I am choosing not to judge him based on that. I will say this, though, he has some huge balls! And for being of a rather smallish stature (5′6″ is my guess.), it just seems strange.
Your comment on Dan’s beard is somewhat confusing, as everyone else knows he had the same beard when he first did Equus in London – when he was 17. Dunno how that could take away the idea that his character was also 17. I do wish he didn’t have it as he is so cute without it!
Really? Is that what the show is about, really?!
Sadie, whether he had that scruff in England or not, I don’t think it represents his character well. Strang is supposed to be a bit of a victim of religious brainwashing by his mother, and that wouldn’t have had as much of an influence on his passion for horses if he wasn’t an impressionable teenager. It could very well just be me, but I think the facial hair makes him less of a 17-year old in that role.
Ikupoo- YUP! Really.
Still don’t get your reasoning. He would have been incarcerated either in hospital or prison, so he may not have been given a razor and some guys grow facial hair quite fast. How does religious brainwashing affect facial hair growth or not?
Religious brainwashing does not affect facial hair.
Any brainwashing is easier on more impressionable minds.
Youth, especially teenage youth, tend to be more easily influenced than others.
Not saying young men can’t grow facial hair, but you lose the sense that Strang is a “lost” young man when he just comes off as an unshaven college kid.
Just like Dysart, I didn’t find Strang guilty in the clear-cut way the stable owner did, because he was simply acting in the ways that experiences and people had swayed him.
In terms of communicating that through a play, I think Strang would have been more convincing as a young man with an “abnormal” set of values of philosophies if they showed his innocence more. Of course it is also very possible that the creative team on Equus wanted to hide the 17-year old’s innocence under the appearance of a slightly older man. In the end, I don’t care that much. I honestly don’t think this is worth a lengthy debate.
i don’t care about his beard. why are there no comments about his bawwwls? i still see harry potter, just with big balls and a penis that flaps around when he walks.
You echo the thoughts in my head!
It’s true. His balls have a lot of swagger.
I am jealous. I mean, I’ve seen the balls. But not live and in person, which is an entirely different thing. Or things. (Or, should I have said, “It’s a whole different ball game?” Ha ha ha ha ha! Shut up.)
Swing!
Too bad I don’t live in NY or I’d totally see that show.. not for his nudity, mind, but for seeing him in person *cough cough*
And though you say that the stubles on his face lessens the belief that he’s 17, I think he looks much more handsome with it than without.
I do like his scruff when it comes to sultry GQ-esque photos, but like I said, for his role in the play, I’m just “meh” about it.
Also, I totally clutched my friend’s shoulder when he came onto the stage. I had to contain myself because we were sitting in the stage seating.
Ok I saw the play a few days after you… tagged along with my best friend 3000 miles for the HP Fan Trips 2008. Not an HP fan myself but I am a pretty good friend. Anyways you didn’t go about getting the playbill signed. What you have to do as my frozen toes can tell you is go back the next night get there really early so you are at the front of the line. Also a good idea to make friends in line at least one of you will get playbills signed may have to hand up and be sure Dan knows its for more than just you (have other person speak up) You then go away rather cold but with good pictures and a signed playbill.
Pretty sure my friend would have spoken up if we had known “The Rules.” And I am a Harry Potter fan, but not desperate enough to go back a second time. We had other theater to see that trip!
But thanks for the ideas, anyway.