Yesterday I made my first pilgrimage to my version of Mecca. Totally sacrilegious reference, yes. The Black Store is Puma’s concept and collection store in New York’s Meatpacking District, and I simply had to go. Ultimately the trip was successful, but it didn’t start so pretty.

Essentially, being born of Californian descent, I am umbrella deficient. It’s not that it doesn’t rain in California (Though Tone Tony Toni will tell you otherwise about LA.), it’s just that in the time spanning one rainy season to the next, I totally forget what to do when it rains. I already mused while packing for this trip about how I don’t know how to dress in cold weather. I look around and have massive boot envy. And then I woke up yesterday morning and it was all rainy and windy.

I had a goal to visit Saks, where my knockout dress was being offered online for almost half the price that My Italian Stylist was offering. Trusting far too deeply in Google Maps, I ended up getting soaked from my down jacket straight through to my long sleeve and tank top. Having forgotten my umbrella in the room, I thought I would be okay to brave a walk to an indoor department store. Turns out there is no Saks Fifth Avenue on West 31st, and so I retreated after schlepping around for forty-five minutes.

I nixed the idea of Saks and hit up Lafayette Street, where it’s like Streetwear Central. For just one block, WESC, Supreme, 555 Soul, Brooklyn Industries… And basically all the stable brands of Karmaloop, are lined up in a row. Though I love these streetwear designers for their funky reinventions of things, their individual customer service absolutely sucked, so I felt no obligation to buy anything. (Personal accolades to myself – I am doing so well on this trip!)

The dreary weather and early onset of darker hours almost made me turn back for more lazy back at the hotel, but I braved another nearly disastrous subway ride down to the Meatpacking District. (I need a public transportation GPS.) Oh, Meatpacking District. All that I had seen of the place before was Samantha’s trendy loft where she made friends with the trannies on the street. I had heard so much about this trendy place. And now I was actually set to go!

As I mentioned before, the goal of the night was to reach The Black Store, but I was also greeted by a three-story Apple store as I walked away from my stop. Ridiculous. No, I did not go inside.

After ogling the outside of Alexander McQueen and admiring the exposed cobblestone in front of Diane Von Furstenberg, I crossed the threshold of the evening’s place of worship. Puma, I had arrived.

You must not be my friend if you never noticed all the Puma in my closet. I was a giddy – but contained – fangirl even as I stood outside the window. It was strange. I know so much about their product and about their brand, but inside I was embarrassed to release all my excitement. In the store it was just me and two sales associates. Though they were professional and did their job, they weren’t so warm or conversational, and I found myself talking for no reason when they should have made me felt welcome. Here I go on another customer service tangent. Anyway…

There’s a pair of $400 boots that I’ve been eyeing since the Fall/Winter collection came out, and lo and behold, they were the first shoes I saw when I walked into the store. (I also don’t know what it is with me and $400 things this trip. I didn’t even pay $400 for my round-trip tickets!) As the female associate opened up my box, I undid my Puma Winter Flexes (which are fabulous suede boots, for all you non-Puma neanderthals) and pulled up my Puma Evisu Black Tattoo jeans. Since I was sitting down on the leather cushioned formstrip of a bench, she did not see the subtle seagull logos silkscreened across my ass, but I was surprised she didn’t notice my boots. It was super quiet in the store (No music? Really?) so I just hastily made sure my jeans wouldn’t fall past my calves to try on the boots.

“Oh, you have Puma socks!” she said. She’s right! I did! I was wearing a pair of black knee-high socks with magenta Pumas running across the tops.

“Yes,” I said embarrassed.

The male clerk then chimed in, “And Puma shoes.” Oh good, he noticed!

And then I don’t know why I said this, because it made me feel super nerdy, but I did, “And Puma jeans.”

“Oh wow, do you work for Puma?” I told them no, but I wish I did! I often wonder why I don’t…

At this point I felt that I had said too much. It was like meeting Daniel Radcliffe and being unable to stammer anything out but “I just saw your penis.”

I just admired myself in the boots in the mirror, and they looked wonderful. Not many people were inspired by the fourth Indiana Jones movie, but Cate Blanchett’s character really made me want to own some sort of military-riding boot hybrid. These Puma Speedcat Re-Luxes for women did just that. But they were $400 and would require me to purchase a whole different suitcase altogether. Sigh.

They kept telling me more about the store, how it’s one-of-a-kind, how the collections and selections there are very exclusive, and I kept nodding, but really, I was like, “Girl, I totally already knew that.”

Other customers had come in at this point, so I took advantage of the escape from awkwardness and looked at other pieces in the store. I often wish there was a boy who I could dress in fabulous clothes, but I don’t think either Twin or Bongo could pull off some of the ideas floating around in my mind. What I need is a friend like Christian Siriano who is also really into sports.

It’s true, there’s not much to The Black Store, but when you’re as obsessed as I am, it really doesn’t matter. It does seem like an ill fit amongst all the high-end luxury designers on the block, but since they’re all just trying to be trendy and ironic by residing in the meatpacking district, it all works anyway.

I was disappointed by their inventory. All of those collections can be found in the Puma flagship stores, online, or at Yoox.com. It’s unfortunate, but Puma’s prolific online offerings have completely eliminated the exclusivity of what’s in their concept store. They didn’t have any upgrades to the Urban Mobility bike. There weren’t any silly snarky T-shirts marked up 50% because of a Black Store logo. Not a thing was priced under $90 at the store, and that’s including the spaghetti-strap camisoles from the Rudolf Dassler collection. If I’m going to be paying triple digits for something at a brand’s concept store, I expect something that I can get only there. Perhaps Puma is just friendly and they want to give everyone who doesn’t have access to the Meatpacking District a chance, but if Sarah Palin were to pass any judgment on it, she’d call them Communists.

Though I’m bitter that I couldn’t get something logical to show off from The Black Store, I’m still thrilled to have gone. I quietly left the store positively glowing because I had seen it. Actually been inside. And even touched things and tried something on! It was validation, indeed.

Sometimes, when you’re really invested in something, it’s just nice to see that it exists. In this case, in the form of “exclusive” commerce.