I just posted that fashion is bad for you. It can be inexplicably out of reach. In the case of yesterday’s jeans, financially so.

Continuing with my love-hate relationship with fashion and my personal accessibility to it, here are some cases of fashion being out of reach geographically. Damn you, U.S. buyers. I blame you.

You know you’re a studio dancer when ridiculous layering combos excite you. Ballet skirts. Backwarmers. Leotards. Arm warmers. And quite possibly the most dance-iest of them all, legwarmers. Few other feats of athleticism warrant such sexy tubes of scrunch. Sexy tubes of scrunch. ‘Love the sound of that. Anyway, think of us as the inspiration for the American Apparel aesthetic only with not-so-80s color combinations and less of the feel of softcore porn.

So when Stella McCartney’s latest release of “Gym Dance” (I really don’t get why athletic labels can’t just call it “Dance.”) apparel came out for Adidas, I got excited. Look at these legwarmers! They’re perfect! They’re snug enough that they won’t fall down while you jump, they easily camouflage as tall socks, they provide that much support and warmth to your arches, and they’re stirrups – meaning you needn’t worry about wearing out the heel or toe when dancing. Awesome.

So I actually breached my devotion to Puma and asked about these “Gym Legwarmers” at the SF Adidas store. Only to find out they don’t sell them in the U.S.

Bullcockey! Why include the pieces in the international marketing campaign when I can’t even touch them?

On a Web marketing note, Adidas did a clever thing in making their campaign graphics easily available to bloggers. It’s one thing to draw potential customers into your Website by offering wallpaper and Ecards. It’s another thing to make embedding quick and easy to spread. Savvy, work, Adidas. Now fetch me my sexy tubes of scrunch.

The above is a pair of the highly coveted (by me) Alexander McQueen Puma Celula sandals. I won the gold ones on eBay, but I still felt (feel) pangs of remorse over the color I really wanted. Twuwy, madwy, deepwy. (That link is not at all related to this post, but the story is hilarious and RiniBerry and I both think you’d enjoy it.) I was also still feeling all kindsa bitter over never getting the Marcel Wanders Puma Cool Case, so I decided to be the obsessed Puma fan that I am and actually write to their customer service. You know you’re desperate when you’re willing to send your question out into customer service ether.

Surprise! Puma customer service actually does write back to you. They wrote back to me. They told me that I’m SOL finding that Cool Case because its season has long past. They also told me I’m SOL finding those green Celulas because they are not available in the U.S. At all.

I hate that! What a tease. Here I am thinking The Yay is a high-profile region for flagship stores and specialty merchandise, and some guy/girl in Puma corporate has decided the U.S. can’t handle such avant-garde things as Kelly green patent leather. Sigh. How am I supposed to stand out now?

I guess I’ll just have to travel…