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asian fetish, asian girls, girls, interracial dating, interracial relationships, jungle fever, race, sexism, yellow fever
Pretend you’re an Asian woman working in the field of American journalism. You’ve convened with other Asian American media professionals for the annual Asian American Journalists’ Association Gala Scholarship & Awards Banquet. The keynote speaker of the evening says this:
“I’ve never been around so many Asian babes in my life,” [Martin Bashir] told his AAJA audience.
“In fact, I’m mightily relieved that the podium covers me from the waist downwards. I’ve been having trouble all evening.”
Umm, AWKWARD.
Bashir apologized for his gross verbal misconduct, but the mistake and the apology do nothing to further the original purpose of Bashir’s keynote, which was to celebrate and empower minority professional representation in journalism. Way to insult two birds with one stone, Bashir! Did you really interview Princess Di and Michael Jackson? That’s just all kindsa off-color.
Now seems an appropriate time to introduce those of you who don’t know it to the race-based preference of Yellow Fever. Asian Fetish. The one type of woman Jenna Jameson claimed her first husband pit her against when it came to infidelity – Yeah, I read the bio.
America knows interracial fetish in an older form known as Jungle Fever – which is the intimate relations between an African American and a Caucasian American. Morris Day and the Time sing about it, wherein their lyrics “I think I wanna know ya” is really pop music code for “Methinks I would enjoy copulating with you.” It’s all over African American history, involving Thomas Jefferson and more.
Same goes for Yellow Fever. Back when it was good, Stuff White People Like posted item #11: Asian Girls. It’s currently SWPL’s top post, and it’s been up since January of ’08. There are four pages of Urban Dictionary definitions for the term, dating back to September ’03.
Asian ladies, we got some long-standing affection in our favor.
It’s hard to miss – both if you meet me and through reading my blog – that I am an Asian female. Even if I didn’t know it, I am often reminded of such. Take, for example, leaving the elevator to watch Iron Man while I was in San Diego for Comic Con:
Mayka and her non-Asian-looking friends are in an elevator. Before they reach their desired floor, the elevator stops so that other mall visitors may travel upwards. The three-to-four new passengers are all Caucasian. A bell and light indicate that Mayka and friends have reached their desired floor. One by one, Mayka’s three friends exit the elevator. Mayka heads out last.
Portly White Guy: I love you, girl in the green sweatshirt!
Mayka, often oblivious to which color she’s wearing, looks back quizzically at the passengers still on the elevator. Turns out she is wearing green, but she definitely wasn’t talking to Portly White Guy. Is he confused?
Portly White Guy: You, Asian girl in the green sweatshirt. I love you!
Vomit.
Though he meant well, Bongo’s remark, “Well, I can’t blame him. I love you, too.” did not comfort me. Of course I’m biased, but I’m also on the most experienced, receiving end of Yellow Fever. My Ethnic Studies graduate heart must influence the feeling of being the object of so many (usually White) men’s gazes, but the whole Asian Fetish thing makes me retch a little. When people toss around the phrase “hot Asian girls” I feel gross.
While showing my mother around Seattle one summer, a creepy White man with a 70s porn moustache wearing red-and-black buffalo plaid flannel (Before it was fashionable.) threw two comments my way:
I always thought Asian girls were so pretty.
Why are Asian girls so beautiful?
His lecherous grin made me push my mom out of the sidewalk so that we could take a different route to my internship office. I wanted to shrink and I wanted to slice his head off. He leered at me; he continued to leer at me as I tried as fast as I could to hide behind anything – a parked car, a newspaper stand, a lightpost.
As much as White boys love us, sometimes I don’t want to be an Asian girl.
It’s not all bad, of course. I definitely have friends who prefer one race over another when it comes to dating and relationships. Sometimes their preferences are congruent with their own cultural identity; sometimes they are not. The attraction itself is nothing to judge. You can’t choose who you like or love. Personally, I’ve been attracted to “everyone” and have dated within and outside of my own race.
Yet from my perspective, some Asian Fetishists act a few notches creepier than your average human beings with physical and romantic preferences. Sometimes I wonder if White guys leer at me because they’re trying to figure out if I’m Japanese and would be into posing for hentai porn. It could be the Night Stalker, for all I know, who apparently has a thing for Asian girls, asking Billy the poseur pen pal, “Know any Asian girls willing to correspond?” Other times, when I’m not feeling especially watched or targeted, I’m sure creepy undressings aren’t going on in Yellow Fevered minds. You really can’t tell what someone’s thinking on the inside, but 99% of the time when an Asian Fetishist speaks and shares his thoughts with me, I want to hurt him badly. (Without touching him, if that’s possible. I’d need to cleanse myself of any contact otherwise.)
As things stand right now, I’m in an interracial relationship. When I first saw him, I saw a man I wanted to get to know, and I think that’s really the key to determining whether an attraction is healthy or not. Whereas Asian Fetishists are often notorious for picking out Asian girls specifically because they are Asian and represent something “exotic” – something outside of their own culture’s realm – a natural, healthy attraction comes from that simple, inexplicable, undeniable pull to a person. Asian or not. Incongruous to one’s culture or not. Some people got Yellow Fever for all the wrong reasons.
Overall, Yellow Fever is both laughable and awkward. It’s funny-ha-ha and funny-interesting. It also probably comprises up to 60% of all the dating-related ads pumped out by Google AdWords:
I gave Bongo a specific case of Yellow Fever, and I’m fine with that. I’m not his Asian flower and I’m not his dragon lady. I inoculated him with my own special blend of Love Me for Me, and it’s really the best stuff anyone could lust after.
Editor’s Note: Due to a limited portrayal of masculine Asian men in significant roles in popular media and general exposure, Yellow Fever applies mainly to the partnership of Caucasian men to Asian women. It actually makes for a fun game that Bongo and I play, called “Spot the Asian Guy with the White Girl.” In the Bay Area, such a combination is as rare as a North Dakota license plate.
I’ve heard of “rice queens,” but I personally cannot speak on how Yellow Fever plays into homosexual relationships. If you have questions in that arena, I definitely know someone you can ask.
What horrible ads…I mean, c’mon, the designs for those should be better.
This post reminds me of the “Yellow Fever” video by Wong Fu Productions.
Yeah, saw that video when it was posted in Stuff Asian People Like. Too bad the blog sucks.
miss mayka,
this topic always bothers me. always.
actually, what gets me more is when i meet an asian girl who says that they “only date white men.” to me it’s insulting.
and ignorant.
i understand people have preferences, which is fine. but to limit yourself and say “only?” that’s what gets me. white men already have enough going for them in this society – that’s a discussion for another time.
now i have no problem w/ interracial dating. i’m all for it. i’d date anyone who didnt fall from the ugly tree. black,brown, white, blue, purple, whomever. however, as you mentioned, me being the asian male – that sentiment isn’t actually returned.
i dont remember where i was going with this. now i’m rambling. sorry.
um… in short, i think “stuff that white people like” is a stupid blog/site, coupled w/ stupid writing. white people like facebook? um ok. so does everyone and their mom. i fucking hate them [the site].
hope you’ve been well maam!
1. Absolutely agree with you about how limiting it is to only date people based on things they can’t change, especially race. (Whereas I believe you choose to strive to be intelligent, traveled, etc., which are qualities you can build as a person, and things I personally look for in relationships.)
2. I want to write about emasculated Asian men at some point. Stay tuned! I can’t not write about culture at least once a week. It’d be denying what I believe in.)
3. Stuff White People like used to be pretty hilarious and snarky. Then it quickly became less than that. (Especially post-book deal, but hey, good for Christian.)
Thanks for the rambles.
“I’ve heard of ‘rice queens,’ but I personally cannot speak on how Yellow Fever plays into homosexual relationships. If you have questions in that arena, I definitely know someone you can ask.”
…Hey, if not for rice queens, I wouldn’t get half the action I get.
Quote:
“Portly White Guy: You, Asian girl in the green sweatshirt. I love you!
Vomit.
Though he meant well, Bongo’s remark, “Well, I can’t blame him. I love you, too.” did not comfort me. Of course I’m biased, but I’m also on the most experienced, receiving end of Yellow Fever. My Ethnic Studies graduate heart must influence the feeling of being the object of so many (usually White) men’s desires, but the whole Asian Fetish thing makes me retch a little. When people toss around the phrase “hot Asian girls” I feel gross.
Sometimes I wonder if White guys leer at me because they’re trying to figure out if I’m Japanese and would be into posing for hentai porn.”
End Quote
Geez, get OVER yourself, lady. If you want to cure white guys (the ones that aren’t good looking enough for you) of Yellow Fever, just stop and talk to them for 10 seconds.
Vomit
10 seconds? Hah, I could do it in 5!
Meh, I’d rather just walk off and spare us both the awkward small talk. Just like if a bunch of loiterers catcall a girl as she walks by, the best thing to do is just keep on walking. Responding in any sort of verbal way – sarcastic, charming, rude, or inquisitive – will often only draw inappropriate comments and conversation.
Clearly you’re not female.
Well Maykazine you’re absolutely correct, I’m clearly not a female. I don’t even play one on TV! And to tell you the truth, being an old white married guy, I get very few people leering at me so I can’t really relate to that experience which must indeed get weird for you girls. But I do have Golden Fever (Asians have never looked “yellow” to me. Sticky notes are yellow; Asians are a beautiful golden tan. ) I get upset when people use the word fetish if guys are attracted to Asians. I think it degrades the Asians to think that only perverts could find them attractive. I have a friend who feels the same way about redheads. Its a matter of personal makeup who we find instantly physically attractive. When I went to Thailand during the Vn war, I was enthralled by the beautiful and more importantly, the gentle sweet nature of the Thai girls. Most of the guys felt that way and more than one went off the deep end over Asian girls. Physically, I never get tired of the beautiful black hair and soft golden skin tone. And most wonderful of all, those amazing Asian eyes. If you covered an Asian girl with a canvas burkha, I’d still love to just gaze into those eyes! But thats just me. And once you get past the initial physical attraction, things get less defined. I have met Asian girls who were a complete turn off once they opened their mouths and said something mean or hateful. Hence my sarcastic remark (sorry about that) about talking to a leerer for 10 seconds. I find Asian girls the most attractive and appealing girls in the world. Most of the Asian girls I know are either immigrants or 1st gen Asian-Americans. I find pretty much all of them to be very feminine, gentle, smart, funny, deep, wholesome and a joy to talk to. I always feel energized and happy after chatting with one of my Asian friends. And as icing on the cake, I think they are the most beautiful women on earth. “Perfect women” as I say. It isn’t about subservience as some allege. For me as a guy, its more about being treated with respect, not seen as a meal/luxury provider. American girls just have this “its all -and only- about me” vibe that really wears thin fast. I suppose this includes 2nd, 3rd, etc. generation Americanized Asian-American girls too.
Finally I don’t leer, myself. Not only is it rude and ignorant, but at my age, looking IS leering so I at least try to be discreet (Hey, I’m an OLD guy, not a DEAD guy!) or just look somewhere else so as not to creep anyone out. By the way, since you provided the link, I browsed around your site and you do indeed seem smart, curious, widely traveled and well read, etc. Ya, so, any guy who DOESN’T have Golden Fever just hasn’t thought it thru! Well, best wishes and who knows, maybe next lifetime I’ll find my own perfect Golden Girl.
I appreciate your coming back and stating your position, Beholder, but I am a little alarmed by your “American girls just have this ;its all -and only- about me; vibe that really wears thin fast. I suppose this includes 2nd, 3rd, etc. generation Americanized Asian-American girls too,” comment.
It’s just interesting (Once an Ethnic Studies major, always an Ethnic Studies major.) that you categorize Americanized (2nd generation and later) Asian-American females as in a different state of citizenship to the U.S. than immigrant Asians or 1st generation Asian Americans. (I’m guessing you mean for 1st generation to describe Asians who were born in the U.S.?) Not passing judgment on it, just pointing out the subtle differentiation of identity that you put upon this group of people. Sounds like you don’t like the way “American” culture is raising its girls, but who’s to say “Asian” culture actually fosters perfect Golden Girls?
Thanks for the debate.
Maykazine: I don’t think we’re having a debate. Well, I’m not anyway. And I certainly didn’t intend to “categorize Americanized (2nd generation and later) Asian-American females (or males) as in a different state of citizenship to the U.S. than immigrant Asians or 1st generation Asian Americans.” I don’t know where that came from or even what it means for sure. My point was that, like my Italian-side grandparents, (Pop was a multi-generation American of German ancestory) newly arrived immigrants bring their original traditions with them and live them. How could they do otherwise? Subsequent generations get more enculturated into the American customs and traditions and, very sadly, lose the connections, beliefs and practices of the cultures and traditions of their ancestors. My mom was what I call a 1st generation (child of immigrants) American born girl. So she was a combination of Italian traditions and values and culture (she spoke Italian before she spoke English) and American since she was born and raised here by Italian-born parents. But I’m 2nd generation and I don’t have any connections left to the original Italian ways, tho I’m proud of that ancestory. I was never taught Italian, for instance. My house is a LOT different than Grandma’s house or even Mom’s house for that matter. No pictures of Jesus or statues of the Virgin Mary or rosary beads or tomatoes growing in the garden or home-made wine fermenting in the basement, etc., etc. And I think we lose so much by letting those things fade. I work with quite a few Asian immigrants and admire them immensely for their morals, values, work ethic and family devotion among other things. Some have become citizens, some haven’t. Utterly immaterial. The way they live and work and conduct themselves really reminds me of my parents’s generation (WW2). Hardworking, honest, self-sacrificing, not feeling entitled, none of that “its all about ME” vibe that I mentioned. One of my very favorite characters is a 1st generation Laotian-American named Palina who is a waitress in our favorite Thai restaurant. She has the soul, manners, moral values, traditions and spirituality of Mom and Dad with just enough American “sass” thrown in to make her a real unique treasure. The numerous immigrant Asian girls I know (mostly from work) are the real heartbreakers tho. Especially for the WW2 guys who served in the Pacific theater or, like me, the Vietnam era guys who serverd in SE Asia. Their quiet, shy, innocent, childlike, sweet, gentle, and on and on ways are what drew us to Asian girls in the first place. There is no way an American guy who has spent time around them can resist falling in love with them. And that is what I define as the perfect Golden Girl. Oh ya, first and foremost, the beautiful Asian eyes. Whatever else may be all this or that about them, the eyes capture us and keep us there. Oh, by the way, we LOVE coming to San Francisco. And for my part, the only thing I insist upon when we visit is a trip to -surprise- Chinatown. I have to go to the Yee Restaurant for roast pig and the LiPo Lounge late Friday or Saturday afternoon to see our favorite bartender Vanessa from -surprise- China (Macau actually). She loves my wife and they have become pals. I think I’m just the guy who accompanies her to SF.
Can’t wait to get back! Best wishes.
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I appreciate EyeOfTheBeholder’s views and I don’t think he is the creepy guys with Yellow Fever that I have a problem with. He just seems to appreciate the beauty and manners of Asian females.
My issue is when Asian females are objectified and not really seen as a human being. We became the object of lust. When I lived in Kansas City, I was more aware of this than when I am here in the Bay Area. It was more than the feeling of that I didn’t belong. It was that guys wanted to talk to me or get me into bed to have an Asian experience. I suppose one could say that this isn’t very different than any other scenario when a guy is pursuing a girl. However, the fact that I caught their eye only because I am an Asian female adds an extra creepiness to it.
One guy who did manage to disarm my creepy guy with Yellow Fever alarm had a fetish specifically for Filipinas. It threw me off because we had a great time and talked about actually living in the Philippines for a little bit. I guess I was thrown off by having someone who had something in common with me amongst the sea of non-Asians. But as time went on I finally realized his fetish for Filipinas (and other crazy fetishes that makes me ill). It was sickening to realize that he chose me and hoped that I was indeed Filipina.
But my point, I don’t have issues with interracial relationships. I’ve had my share and am in one. But when a woman becomes just an object of lust (no matter what race) and no longer seen as a human being, then you and I will have a problem.
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o.k., first of all – ewww to Martin Brashir. Of coarse, I knew he was slime in how he handled the MJ story. But that is TOTALLY inappropriate.
Also, as a black woman, I know how stereotypes and fetishes work. In NYC, there are soo many AF/WM couples and sometimes I question if there is some type of fetishism going on. Not to say that there are not legitimate couples at all.
It’s just when you are approached you wonder if it’s for YOU or your ethnicity.
Seriously! As if growing up with a double consciousness of being a minority all the time wasn’t insecurity-inducing enough.
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And do the Asian girls who like white guys look like this?
http://www.japansugoi.com/wordpress/japanese-bikini-gravure-idols/
Cuts both ways! It’ simple, people want to be with attractive people, no matter what race.