• Weezer – “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”
  My current favorite track of the moment. Blogged about it before, this ballad to end all pop ballads. Please listen. It is epic. Like listening to Moulin Rouge as a Harvard grad with hipster glasses.
• Chris Brown – “Forever”
  I try to be very careful with my words. Each use of controversial verbs and adjectives goes through my special “Will It Offend?” filter. So I mean this with the utmost in respectful intentions when I say: Isn’t Chris Brown’s “Forever” the gayest thing you’ve ever heard?? Seriously, it merits double question marks. Seriously. He should create a second persona as Chris Breezy and produce more synth pop Euro dance hits. (Don’t sneer! Akon did country!) “Double your pleasure, double your fun.” – Where’s a Doublemint Gum twin when you need one?
• Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl”
  This ain’t no sequel to Sebastien’s “Kiss the Girl.” It’s so similar to Stefy’s “With Chelsea” from the John Tucker Must Die soundtrack that I got confused about where I was. Katy Perry, of “Ur So Gay” non-fame, appears to be Pittsburgh Slim’s dream girl. (You can download “Girls Kiss Girls” off of his crazy overdone MySpace page.) That is to say she is a barsexual. And she liked it.

In honor of kissing girls, holy crap, I had to post this video. (Or should I say, “Holy carp?” HAH!)